Sitting on the bus with head phones in while listening to music and staring out the window is one of my hobbies. Those moments where you feel like your in some artsy film, deep in thought. Listening to people speaking french fluently. Someone speaking any language fluently? Sitting at home and watching an emotional movie? Reading your favourite book?
What makes you life bearable?
I don't have a happy life. I'll be brutally honest. Some nights I'll lie awake in bed thinking about how much of a bad person I am. But that's who I am. I focus on the negatives not the positives. I don't believe in happiness. I have anxiety which causes me to have panic attacks. Usually my panic attacks are while I sleep but sometimes I'll break down and sit in bed in the dark. Unhappy. Depressed. Feeling like there is no meaning to life. But what's the meaning of life? Surely if someone knew the answer more people would be able to understand the world around us. How do you truly know how someones feeling?
Some people say I change my emotions too quickly. To be honest, I do. But I have to. No one knows the real me and I'm afraid that if they did that they wouldn't want to be friends with me.
